Happy Go Lucky

Well coming up for the weekend and I am looking forward to meeting Kors and his adorable daughter Annie for a coffee or two on Saturday. Matt might also be coming along, perhaps with his equally adorable daughter who's name has just jumped in a taxi and is heading for the airport as I type. It will come back to me, probably as they both walk up to me, which will lead to the embarrassing thing of calling Matt by his daughters name and vice a versa. But that's OK as I am a crip and blame just about everything on that so no problem.

Saturday is a big day as we are waving goodbye to Rachel's car, it's new owners will be driving it to Inverness as soon as they sign the paper work. The how's and who's, as well as the whys of selling Rachel's car are a 4 hour blog in it's self, so it is probably better not to ask and just go with the flow readers.

I will get round to telling you all about these folks shortly so you just need to keep coming back.
"What a little tease I am"

Then to cap it all me and Claire are going out as the poor end of the family to show up the posh end of the family, again! This time though they have decided that if show them up is what we do, then we should have the best settings in town to do it in. So we are going to the Sheraton hotel just of Lothian road. I am sure Fiona and John know what they are doing, or perhaps they are working to a cunning plan that sees me and get huckled out the restaurant whilst they three slip off with out paying. I guess from Fiona's point of view having a mouthy crip brother in law has to pay off at some point.

I am not saying I will be looking to cause trouble, but for a starter I am dressing casual as most of my clothes rub against my wheelchair, (Cos I am too fat since you ask!) so I can see us getting stopped as I am "Not properly dressed". My plan A: is to offer to get naked and say that they cannot complain as I am not dressed at all now so nothing improper about my dress. Or at an attempt at an even older joke I will ask them if I can borrow a little black number. (Black number = dress - I will be DRESSed get it. Suit yourselves)

If we get in and the seating or the place is not chair friendly I cannot imagine I will be able to not say anything, I will chuck around acronyms like the D.D.A. and the D.R.C, B.B.C, M.M.O, and lastly TTFN. Having confused everyone including myself I will then go and inspect the disabled toilet. Now this is the Sheraton so if the disabled loo does not have it's own attendant who will buff my nails whilst I pee I am going to be hacked off. If the loo is not big enough to hold a rugby 7's game in I am going to be hacked off. It better not have the toilet either too close to a wall or too close to the hand drier, or I will be hacked off. And that's before we even get to the food.

What I really want though is for one of the waiters to be carrying a tray of drinks and then for his foot to catch one of my footplates that I will probably need to remove in order to get close to the table.
"Cleaning bills and free drinks all round landlord"

Actually that sounds like so much fun I might have to make sure we get in....."Any one got a black tie I can borrow?"