"WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET"

Feeling better today so full post, I think that is probably shorthand for "I have no idea where I'm going with this."


So nowadays many sayings from computer speak have come in to every day usage, WYSIWYG is a prime example. In days gone buy it would have been "People take me as I am" or "Take as you find". They all mean roughly the same thing and that is that your dealing with the real thing, no pretense or falseness is intended. Sounds fair enough don't you think, good knowing that the person or the entity you are engaging with has no ulterior motive or hidden agenda.


We are probably far to used to being sceptical and cynical these days, not helped by the general feeling of powerlessness that comes from government and big business controlling and knowing more about ourselves than we are happy with. Our instinct would seem to be to trust no one or at the very least never take things at face value.


I want to introduce you to Gina and Samantha women that I have recently met. They each look and sound different, they live in different countries, they have totally different family and cultural experiences. Both because of their jobs would totally subscribe to the WYSIWYG ideology, in fact that's what there earning capacity depends on.


I met them through there work as sales reps, and was taken in like everyone else by the outward appearance and the sales pitch that they were using at the time. I happened to engaged them in closer discussion and found that one of my long cherished philosophies of life to be proved 100% correct again.

Each woman has experienced things in their life that I just cant begin to understand. They have coped with such emotional upheaval, physical and emotional pain, feelings of isolation and loneliness that frankly these experiences would have killed me, or I would certainly have killed myself. Each and every week newspapers are filled with the stories of women much like Gina and Sam, they are not unique in what they have each been through, the sad truth is though that far more people suffer the type of traumas and damage that these two have gone through than we ever hear about. It is also sad that when we do hear about these stories it is in often lurid and sensational reports that turn those involved in to the modern day equivalent of freak shows. The case of Michael Jackson's life and death are a case in point.



Gina and Samantha, are two of the loveliest, funny, intelligent, and insightful people I have met and I do not say that just because we agree on so much. I say it to shore up the point that I am going to make and that is, here we have a perfect case of what you see is what you get working on two levels at once. Both these woman are open and straightforward, if and only if you take the time and trouble to look past the mask that they show. With integrity and not an ounce of self pity will they tell you about themselves and their experiences. That's not to say they broadcast their private lives to anyone within earshot, or that they are so fragile from their experiences that they need to share with others at any offered opportunity. Nothing could be further from the truth, each is private and reserved only opening up to those that they believe will not mistreat the information that they share.


In many ways they share qualities with Jim the subject of an earlier post, the chief one being dignity, although Independence and self determination are both qualities that these two women share with what I believe to be the majority of womanhood.


My philosophy you see is that women are much stronger and much more capable than men, indeed not so long ago I told Sam that once the production of sperm can be achieved on an industrial scale with out men, that only leaves opening jars and dealing with spiders as our contribution to society. I am not making a new point here I think most men and women acknowledge the point that apart from the jar thing, there is no weaker sex. In terms of equality though women have had centuries of abuse, being treated like dirt, having family taken from them with out notice or explanation (Think wars and men being drafted or coerced here people.) as well as being the ones who by and large have been forced to start over with nothing sometimes two or three times in their life. I don't know if it is now a genetic trait that women cope or deal with things emotionally and practically in a way that allows them to function, if it is then that would explain why very few men show the same toughness and resolve.


Gina and Sam both have one last thing in common, and that is hope. Both are working their way towards something, they have goals and they have the light at the end of the tunnel. I cannot say they have turned their lives round that would not be fair as I think both have always been strong individual characters, so I don't see that they had anything to turn round. What they have done though is that they have not handed control to other people, or given away responsibility for their lives to others despite how it looked and felt at the time. Their strength though came from within, and their life was always theirs to take charge of. Many women find the same strength only after horrific experiences, some only realise they have that strength too late to alter they way their lives play out. I am very glad that both Gina and Sam will not be victims any more.


I said WYSIWYG works on two levels, the second level is something for the rest of us. Whilst Gina and Samantha and the millions of others like them get on with their lives we encounter them from day to day in a series of different settings. How often do we stop and really chat about ourselves, how many times does it occur to us that the person serving us in the store, the drunk on the street, the homeless person in the doorway, have a history that make them who they are. More pointedly how many of us would care, how many of us would tell them to get on with it like Gina and Sam have done, thoughtlessly and with no mind to the pain and the hurt it takes to move forward.
I think I know the answer to those questions, but yet on a day to day basis little acts of kindness and generosity take place in the world around me that knock my view that people are thoughtless and don't care about others. These little acts keep my hope alive that humanity is not doomed to lose it's ability to feel other peoples pain, or offer part of ourselves with no thought of reward


WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET works just as well when each of us thinks that it applies to us, and that what others see of us should be openness and friendship, tolerance and respect. Women like Gina and Sam show us who they are both on the surface and on deeper levels. They like the rest of us might wear masks to protect themselves, but unlike others their ability to be themselves and not pretend otherwise even though the temptation is offered and would seem an appealing option is why they are examples of the type of human being I aspire to be.

Gina and Sam are now friends of mine, although in reality we have never met, and we only know a very limited part of each others life's. We know about each other, rather than we know each other would be a better way of thinking about it. I hope we stay friends long enough for the three of us to meet, chat, and laugh.